It's so unfair !
by Norwalker
Summary: Buffy reflects on her life on her first day in Sunnydale


It's so unfair !

Disclaimer: Joss Whedon and Co. own the characters depicted in this little fiction. News Flash: Not a news flash!

Author's note: This story started life as " Tellin' Mr. Gordo" being my take Buffy's first day at Sunnydale High. OK, confession time…that story really sucked, ok?. Sigh. But it was sounded so good in my head….rightfully, if you read it , you didn't review it(momma always said, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all… right?). It stunk. Sorry, my bad. Hopefully, this one won't ubersuck. 

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It's so unfair!

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Buffy Summers looks around, then sneaks quietly towards the front door. 

She is so hoping mom has gone to bed, and she can sneak in quietly, without mom patrol being active. Right now she wants to just crawl into bed herself, and dealing with mom is not tops on her happy list. She knows if caught, mom's gonna lay a guiltapalooza on her. Not that she doesn't already have something like major guilt going. Sigh.

Buffy opens the door, and quietly shuts it. Coolness. It's dark. Mom's gotta be in  comaland by now. She makes for the stairs, and starts up them(quietly) when the light snaps on, and the dreaded" Buffy!" is heard.

Busted!!!! Damn!!!!

Buffy turns around, trying to put the best face on it she can.

"Hi, mom" Buffy smiles, as if everything is great.

" You're late, Buffy" Joyce Summers sighs. She really hates having to do this. All of this. She hates being the bad guy. But ever since the divorce, and Buffy acting out in L.A.( still trying to understand why Buffy burned down the Hemery High gym in L.A. Acting out is one thing…Arson is a total different matter.), her getting expelled, them moving to Sunnydale. It's all been so…stressful. And Buffy isn't helping.

" Honey, I know we're in a new town, now. But the rules haven't changed. Curfew is still 11 PM on a school night. It's past twelve. Where've you been?" Joyce asks. She wonders if she really wants to know?

" I was hanging with some buds at the Bronze, and I … lost track of the time" Buffy covers. Telling the real story would only lead to a quick trip to insaneville. 

" Buffy, I'm glad you're making friends" Joyce starts." But we just started here. I'm trying really hard to make us a new life here. After L.A. and all the trouble there. I don't want to have to be tough mom here, but you have to try, Buffy. Try not to get into trouble again. It's going to be good here, I know that. But you really have to make the effort" Joyce sighs to herself. I hate this. My Buffy's a good girl. She just fell in with the wrong crowd in L.A. I know she's just a teenager, but I've got to keep her from getting all screwed up again.

"Aw, mom, what's the dire? I'm a little late is all" Buffy whines. Damn, did I tell you? Guiltapalooza! 

"Buffy, you're a lot late" Joyce says. " We'll talk about this in the morning. Go to bed, honey"

"Fine" Buffy pouts.. Now I gotta worry about it all night, too. She stomps upstairs, not caring if her temper shows a little or not.

Joyce just shakes her head, and follows her daughter up. The weight of the world might not be on her shoulders, but the weight of one daughter with problems certainly is. She slumps a little , and turns off the light.

Buffy is totally messed. She flounces down on her bed, and pouts. No sleep for the slayer I guess, she thinks. She pulls out a notebook with the word "Journal" printed on the covers. Someone somewhere once told her keeping a journal is a good way to get it all out, makes sense of what's happening to you. Boy, she could use that right now.

Journal Entry, March 10, 1997

It's so unfair! All of it!

Schools unfair. Mom's so unfair! Life's unfair!

Well, that's brilliant, Buffy. Such pearls from the brain of the slayer. The slayer. What is that about anyway? 

All this slayer gig has done is get me booted from school, moved away from my friends, and now I gotta start some new school. I hate being the new kid. I worked so hard at Hemery High to be popular. Being popular is not easy. Gotta keep up with all the trends, gotta look great, gotta do the cool things…avoid the geekazoids. Now, I gotta do it all over again, and already there is the resident princess…Cordelia Chase, Queen C as she so lordlingly tells everyone. God, met her today, and in one day I went from potential cool to social death. Unfair, right? But that's my life. Unfair.

Mom just doesn't get it. Being me isn't easy. God, dealing with a new school, dealing with new people…and now this  'destiny' thing. The Chosen one. Hey, I didn't ask for this. I didn't raise my hand and jump up and down and say " Choose me, Choose me!". The stuck with the stuff one is what they should say. And like, I like going out killing vampires, and stuff. And keeping it secret. Think that's easy? What do you tell a date when you accidentally drop your purse, and the stake falls out? Or, even someone who happens to find it…like that guy…what's his name? Xander Harris. Yeah. He gives it back to me, and I gotta come up with some lame excuse. Geeze. And he's not even really cool, ya know? But I'm supposed to do the Spiderman thing and have a secret identity. How's that supposed to happen? I mean, already it's like half the school knows about me. Seems the only one who doesn't know about me IS mom. And now I know I'm gonna get grounded or something. How'm I suppose to patrol when I'm grounded?  That so bites.

And why am I having to 'patrol' anyway? I thought at least when we left L. A. that was all history. But no, the damned  "Slayer" thing follows me here to Sunnydale. I got a new " Watcher" and everything. Giles, the librarian. Oh, man I really feel so safe… NOT. Geeze, what? If a vampire comes at me, he's gonna hit it with a book? I know…Watcher's watch, slayer's slay. That's the thing. But a little help here wouldn't be bad, would it?

Well, wasn't all bad today, I guess. Met some new people. Xander Harris. Stake finding boy. He's ok, I guess. A little goofy, but he gets in an occasional zinger to two. His buddy, Jesse. Total goof, but harmless. And Willow. Willow Rosenberg. Class brain…and a really sweet girl. Totally shy though. I mean, I was told she was the one to see if you want to catch up. So, I go up to her and ask " Are you sitting here" and she replies" Yes… do you want me to go away now?". Geeze, girl, All I wanted to do was sit down! But she's sooo smart. And kinda cute. Ok, she's a bit of a fashion victim, but nothing that can't be fixed. And she's got these great green eyes…and a killer smile. Gee, Buffy…want to date her? Ha ha.  I'm just saying, she'd be a whole lot more if she'd only believe in herself a little bit. (Note to self: Work on getting Willow more confident.). I think she might have a major crush on Xander, too. She looks at him all googly eyed. But of course, being a guy, he doesn't see it. Guys can be so DUMB!!!!! I think I'm gonna like her. Yeah, definite hang-with material.

Not that I'm gonna have much hang time, it seems. It's started all over again already. Dead boy found in locker. Wanna guess what? Two puncture wounds in neck, blood drained. Yeah. Vampires. Damn. What, do they follow me or something? Mr. Giles said something about this town being on a Hellmouth. Whatever. What is a Hellmouth, anyway? He went on about some " Mystical convergences and forces " and yadda, yadda ,yadda. C'mon. I didn't sign up for the time life series, ya know. Seems whatever it  is , it attracts the baddies. Great. Pheromones for the undead. Just what I needed!

And then there's mystery guy. Who's he? I was going to the Bronze…the only nightclub worth anything in town, according to Queen C, and  all of a sudden, my spidey sense goes off. He's following me. Great. Bad enough with the vamps, now I got stalkers, too. Well, after I introduce myself ala my foot, he goes on about some doom and gloom stuff( The Harvest? What? Did I move to Kansas, and just not know it?).  So, like, so? Who is he, anyway?" A friend" Yeah, well, maybe I don't need anymore 'friends'…how many Giles can one person take? " I didn't say your friend" Oh…Mr. Smarty guy too. But… definite hunkiness going on there. Total wow potential. Too bad he's such a jerk. Ah, well, eye candy is never totally bad, right? No, of course not.

What is bad is …all this stuff. Why me, anyway? What's so special about ME? I'm just a girl. No big. Why do I gotta do this? Calling Whoever. I want my life back now, please!  I want to be a cheerleader again, I want to be prom queen. I want a normal life. You know, a life with malls, and shopping, and boys, and fun,  and school, even. Not a life with monsters, and destinies, and mystical stuff. Am I asking too much?  I did my bit in L.A. Lost my whole life over it. I'm retired, ok? Get another slayer. Put out a want ad. I'm done!

But, I'm not done. It's not that easy. I 'm stuck. I'm so stuck. It's unfair. You hear? It's SO UNFAIR!!!

Buffy slams the book closed. That so didn't help. But at least now, she's tired, and can get some sleep. She gets up, and puts the  journal in her dresser drawer(no use mom just seeing it lying about…that'd be disaster central). She spots Mr. Gordo sitting on the dresser. She smiles, and grabs him. Been a long time since Buffy has needed a sleep buddy, but today's been a really bad day. She turns off the light, and snuggles under the covers, clutching  Mr. Gordo close. She soon drifts off; it's been a long day

Sleep well, little slayer. Sweet dreams. It's only gonna get more interesting from here on out.

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Finito


End file.
